On my way home from work yesterday, I started thinking about car chivalry, equality, and female drivers… The following are some random musings on car chivalry, female drivers, and gender equality.
“You never learn to swear until you learn to drive.” – You spot it on tee-shirts and bumper stickers, on blogs and articles, and you nod and chuckle at how this amusing saying seems to be all too “spot on” when it comes to your driving experiences. So maybe that famous phrase isn’t supposed to be taken too literally—I mean from what I remember, I started swearing like a sailor long before I started driving. But the point is, driving does teach you to swear and swerve, block, and even intentionally overtake one driver and to slow down just to piss that person off. And why? Simply because that driver was rude enough to cut you in an intersection and nearly cause you an accident. Okay, so maybe you have a reason to be genuinely pissed off, but exactly how far are we (today’s drivers) taking this driving-induced, shorter fuse?
Has the automobile, one of the most important and convenient inventions of all time, really caused us to lose more than just our tempers, but our manners as well? See, this is the part where chivalry comes in. Let me start off with a simple definition of this fast-becoming ambiguous term.
Chivalry: a type of behavior associated with knighthood, but used in the modern times to refer mostly to man’s chivalry towards women.
When the world’s first feminists started the movement to free women from the unfair, gender-based restrictions implemented by society (male-dominated, no less), I bet they weren’t thinking—“men should act like pigs around women”.
Equality doesn’t mean “be rude!” On the contrary, it means “be considerate”. Women aren’t weak creatures who really NEED special attention, ok so maybe sometimes we do but guys do too—sometimes. But I think that sometimes some male drivers tend to take this “bid for equality” too far when they start haranguing female drivers because they drive too slow, or it takes them a while to park. Oh yes, I’m sure you’ve encountered a number of websites solely dedicated to showing the world how women are such bad drivers—a hasty generalization too, might I add!
Never mind that Danica Patrick and hundreds of other female racers around the world are trying to prove this generalization incorrect. Most guys I know see Danica Patrick and proudly exclaim how they have the magazine where she shows up wearing a bikini. Brain cells start to drip out my ears every time they go into that discussion. Sure, she’s beautiful, but let’s not forget that she’s also mighty talented too!
And let’s not even touch the numerous jokes about women being bad drivers and all (with pictures). I’m a female driver and I can take a joke or two about bad SOME bad female drivers, but when this generalization is taken to the streets, and you’re trying to squeeze in your car inside an ultra-small parking space in the mall and the driver behind you starts honking and cursing at you…that’s something else completely. When you step out of your vehicle, you see the lot of the spectators rolling their eyes and mouthing “see, told you it was a ‘she’.” And a middle-aged guy attempts parking in a nearby space and takes twice as long, and nobody pays attention… I don’t know if that’s what you call sexism or double standards, but it sure as hell ain’t right.
But maybe there’s still hope for car chivalry out there—provided of course that it’s mixed with a healthy dose of equality. Women aren’t really as dependent as we used to be, but some random acts of kindness like the three examples listed below, does feel good once in a while.
Opening Car Doors for Girls. The good news is that car chivalry isn’t completely dead, just dormant in most people. A lot of male drivers are thankfully not as narrow-minded as the chuckling folks in the mall parking space. In fact, I know quite a few guys who still open car doors for their ladies. The guys I know who don’t open car doors for other people use feminism as an excuse—“she can do it herself” is said with a smug beam.
Guys, don’t you know that while yes, women can open car doors themselves, opening your vehicle’s door for your lady is the modern day equivalent to a bouquet of flowers? Well, maybe not a bouquet, but women do appreciate it when you remember this chivalrous act every time you go out with your girl. And you shouldn’t really do it as a one-time thing either! Show your girl how much you care by opening your car door for her each time you go out.
Letting You Have the Last Parking Space. This one I’m yet to see, but a female friend of mine does swear by her story. It’s the last parking space on that floor, although there was another parking level upstairs. She rounded a corner only to be met by another driver. For a moment she thought she’d have to head upstairs and start hunting for a decent parking space once more, but amazingly, the other driver smiled and indicated that she should have the parking space instead. There was no ulterior motive; the guy was just really nice.
Letting the Other
These are just some of the car-related chivalry acts I’ve experienced or heard of from my set of female friends. Now, if only more male drivers could be as gallant as the drivers who practice the three examples mentioned above…
